Author’s Note: Hello to all the new people who have joined as a subscriber since Notes became a thing. It seems like it’s been around 30 people who signed up in the past 8 days. That means a heck of a lot. It’s certainly given me a hunger for more. For those who are new, I have a piece coming out for early access to paid subscribers on Friday. I’m also working on the next piece for “Meaning Monday”. If you want to check those out, here’s the first and second one.
The next one is coming out April 24 for paid subscribers to discuss in the comments, but all subscribers can vote for a week.
We all crave something.
Whether it's as simple as wanting sugary things to eat or the love of another person, there's often something deep down which makes you want it. This is different from a need like the desire to eat ordinary food or the emotional connection you can make with another person. A craving is a lot deeper than what most people want. Cravings are things you can't ignore, even if you want to. It gets to the point where not having it makes you feel an ache deep inside. The kind that can even get painful if you try and let it go. More often than not, this feeling is associated with a type of addiction like to drugs or alcohol, but it doesn't have to be. When it's not an addictive impulse like drugs or alcohol, the craving is usually psychological in nature. People feel an emotional lack of the thing you want which can often get in the way of getting it.
Usually it's a result of things that were not there when you were younger. For instance, people who don't have good relationships with their parents when they're kids will feel the need to search for a deeper emotional connection in the partner they're after. Which often leads to people acting like they need to be with that person all the time. It can get to the point that the person receiving that attention will feel like you're being clingy or emotionally needy. Too much of which can turn the other person off and want to get away from the one they're interested in. Yet because they think if this person leaves them they come to believe they will never find someone who can fill that need ever again. Even when they do find it for a second or third or however many times they find someone, they continue to believe that they need to do everything possible to keep it. So they end up repeating the same patterns over and over again.
Often this type of behaviour happens in other circumstances as well, like when it comes to food. If they can't get what they need from another person, which they often can't, they will try and fill this need with food. As a result, they will eat to an obsessive amount whether they're full or not. Just like with people's relationships to other people can go wrong, so can a person's relationship with food. Although unlike with other people, food doesn't ever tell you no. It doesn't ever tell you that you're doing the wrong thing by eating it.
Insatiable is fundamentally about the destructive patterns that this type of hunger and desire can have on a person who develops these patterns. Patty Bladell, as played brilliantly by Debby Ryan, has been trapped in destructive patterns her entire life. She has a painful relationship to food she can't seem to break out of no matter how hard she tries. Then through a freak accident, she finds herself in different circumstances. Despite the fact that the world sees her differently, she still has many of the same ideas about herself and the relationships she has to other people and food. She simply can't find her way out of them. But she does her best to find a way out of them.
It's a painful thing to watch with a strange type of beauty at the same time.
Do yourself a favour and take the time to explore the craving for more by checking out Insatiable as soon as you can.
Check out Insatiable on Netflix.